Who's your daddy

Commuting to work today morning, I was tuned on to 101.5 FM and heard this ad (not verbatim, my memory ain't really that good!)
Woman: "My husband always had concerns about the paternity of our daughter. I was sure of it but he had some doubts......" The ad went on to talk about the woman's concern about privacy in getting a DNA test done. Now you can initiate a DNA test in the privacy of your own home. The Identigene DNA Test is now available at your nearest RiteAid!! And apparently the kid's father was her husband after all... and life is all rosy and peachy now. The punchline: If you have doubts about who the biological father of your child is, try Identigene!

The IDENTIGENE DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit retails at $29.99. With an additional lab fee of $119 (sent in with cheek swab specimens collected from the alleged father and child) the total cost for a paternity test is only $149.99. Everything you need to collect and mail the specimens to the lab is provided in the kit, including easy to follow instructions.

Now, hypothetical question: Alpha is married to Beta but had an affair with Gamma (Beta's best friend and also a married man!). Alpha has a baby and it could either be of Beta or Gamma. Beta doesnt know about Alpha's affair. Gamma doesn't know that Alpha has doubts about her childs paternity. If Alpha wants to keep this whole ordeal private, she needs a DNA test done. She buys the IDENTIGENE kit. Now how do they expect her to get a DNA sample by swabbing inside the mouth of Beta or Gamma without them knowing it!! Seriously! Maybe IDENTIGENE should accept hair samples. Its definitely easier to get!!

[I had a half an hour bus ride after I heard the ad. I had lot of time to think about it :)]

Update (Jan 9, 2008): I am impressed!! Identigene must have really good web content monitoring. It picked up this blog entry and someone actually responded with a comment!! Alpha will be very happy to hear the comment. I googled the name of the person who added the comment. Per most web sites, Michelle Council is an executive director of Identigene. Now I am not sure if monitoring blogs is part of the job description of an executive director. Or is it just a prankster pulling my leg?

Either way, the comment reaffirms my original belief: The best way to counter sarcasm is cuteism.